I used to hate Valentine’s Day, back when I was younger and more insecure about being single. These days, as I see more and more of my friends settle into married life and for some, parenthood, I realize that my current situation is exactly right for me. It’s like when I was little and used to walk around in my aunt’s high heel shoes. When I grew up, I would fit into high heel shoes of my own perfectly, but right then, I needed my own little girl shoes that fit my little girl feet perfectly.
I ask myself if I’m ready for the commitment of marriage right now, or whether I have the dedication and selflessness it would take to be a mother. The answer, is no. To both. Right now, I like that I can be selfish and think mostly of myself. I think I finally get it when they tell me to appreciate being single…
I spent this weekend of various holidays — for some it was gladly Valentine’s Day, for some it was Chinese New Year’s, and then for the whole country, it was President’s Day — at home with my family. I haven’t been home to my parents’ in almost a month and I’ve been missing it. Anyway, as a post-Valentine’s Day treat, my sister, her boyfriend and I treated my parents to lunch at Olive Garden (we are easily pleased) and went shopping. My mom has gone camera-crazy and took pictures of everything from the roadways on the way to the restaurant to the food we were served. I saw her pictures that she uploaded into her Picasa album and stole some to put on my Facebook. And when I looked through them, seeing how happy I looked, how we all looked — it made me feel like even though I haven’t met the right guy yet, I have the right everything else.
And right now, perhaps this is all I need.